“Your win does not exist.”
—The_Nonexistent_Tazz, Destroy the Godmodder 2
The_Nonexistent_Tazz, usually known as Tazz, is a major player of Destroy the Godmodder 2 and Destroy the Godmodder: TV Tropes Edition. He is an Anti-Godmodder in DTG2, DTG TV Tropes 2: Salvation, and (until recently) DTG: Terraria Edition, and a Neutral in DTG:TVT. He acquired the rights to the third game of the main series near the end of DTG2, ultimately creating Destroy the Godmodder 0rigins on September 9, 2015. His Minecraft account is Latio_Nytro.
Tazz is known for utilizing doors in attacks like how Irecreeper uses chairs, creating his own line of elemental alchemies in a way that parodies pionoplayer, establishing the Healing Contract with Bill Cipher, becoming one of the few Alpha Godmodders, destroying the Disc of Mojang (and forcing Doc Scratch out of becoming the Psi-Godmodder), and destroying the Godmodder with an epic two-post attack, Final Act.
His chumhandle is caledfwlchUnleashed [CU] (C72727).
History
DTG2
Tazz joined DTG2 on Page 762. His very first attack, taking a door to Murphy's Law, immediately failed and the door ate him. He went on to wage war against the entity. During this time, he also joined the final stage of the Nether Sidequest, started his first Alchemies, and generally kept to interacting with Neutral entities rather than PG entities.
When Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff came and started the SBaHJpocalypse, Tazz immediately prioritized the two, throwing nearly every attack he had to offer at them, only stopping when the Origin Wither presented itself as a result of the Nether Sidequest.
When the Massive Battle of Armies started, Tazz summoned the Army of Choice: a conglomerate between the 612th Cannoneer Squadron of the Province of Ranchia from the Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing, the Mad Bomber mercenaries, the three Ace Dicks of Problem Sleuth, and Crazy Hand, the avatar of destruction from the Super Smash Bros Universe. They were conceived with a special charge attack that never got used: Initially the Triple Truffle Shuffle Scuffle, it had to be changed because Comb Raves hadn't been introduced, to the Really Powerful Strike. Both maneuvers had to wait until either Crazy Hand (but not the Aces) was slain, or they had 4 turns to charge, conditions that were ultimately never met. However, later on, during Ace Dick's reappearance in the second Trial, Tazz reminded Ace Dick about the Really Powerful Strike, and he proceeded to use it on Demonhead Mobster Kingpin.
Tazz and his new army primarily attacked the Godmodder's Terror Army, and afterwards, he briefly attacked the other PG armies before committing himself to destroying Piono and the Forces of Mordor. During his initial attack on Piono, he was given a Spiral Sucker by insert_ generic_username, whose warnings about it were drowned out. Midway in the battle against Piono and his forces, he licked the Spiral Sucker, and turned Trickster. However, since everyone else had already gone Trickster or were otherwise protected, he focused on stopping Piono's tyranny. His attacks came relentlessly, and his Alchemies took a Trickster spin during the time.
Near the end of the Battle, The_King_of_Pane stepped onto the fringes of the Battlefield, trying to search for a target discreetly. Two turns later, after the destruction of the Army of Choice, Pane identified Tazz despite the Trickster corruption. It was also at this point that the Z-Mech Mk. X stumbled upon Pane, who had gone practically unnoticed previously. Pane immediately slew the Z-Mech in an extremely powerful attack, gibbed Tazz, and fled. This knocked Tazz out of Trickster mode and into a temporary depressive state at his rival's return and escape. However, this didn't reverse his prior decision to murder Piono, and eventually, in a joint effort, Piono was finally slain, and Tazz went to help slay the rest of the Armybuster Mechs.
When the Conclave Arrived at GodCraft, Tazz reacted and fought back much like the other Players did. However, it quickly became apparent that there were worse problems to deal with, The Glitch. After some confusion, Tazz quickly made himself useful, by destroying Regnum Dei and the Build Projector, allowing himself to be slain at the Suicide Door, and orchestrating the Malestrom of Lead, a very successful Chain attack that decimated the majority of the TF2 Animatronics in Zone 7.
When the final challenge was revealed, Tazz simply kept attacking the Arrival until it was stated that Bill Cipher would be willing to make a deal if the players could heal his eye. Tazz, with the help of other players, crafted a deal that stated that a group of willing players, the Healing Squad, would attempt to heal Bill Cipher's then blind eye, and if successful, Bill would then leave GodCraft and the Trifecta unless a member of The Healing Squad wanted to make a deal. Bill Cipher accepted the deal on the condition that he was only bound to not intentionally interfere with the rest of the war. The deal went into effect, earning Tazz the Oblivion's Topper, and the following turn Tazz and the rest of The Healing Squad created a massive healing sphere, which was then used to fully heal Bill Cipher. He then departed, as per the contract. Tazz also aided in several other chain attacks before Project Binary finally went down.
During the intermission, Tazz revealed his and Pane's backstory to a limited extent. Both were players of a twelve-player SBURB session, with Tazz as the Bard of Life and Pane as the Knight of Space. Unusually, Tazz's game of SBURB involved multiple species at once, and thus multiple home planets. This caused the session to turn Sterile, which was similar to a Dead Session in terms of difficulty, though resembling normal SBURB more than a Dead Session, and the Genesis Frog was sterile. The objective was to escape, which was not easy due to the power and number of the underlings.
Due to the power of the enemies nobody could progress until Pane, who was an Alpha Godmodder then, exploited loopholes to get his amazing Minecraft Gear into the game and, after much convincing, distributed a set to everyone. This was only because Pane had to in order to progress, and any further cooperation was also apparently due to this. However, eventually Pane found out that Hephaestus (the denizen of another player) had artifacts that would allow him to take the power of other players, removing the need for them. He sneaked past Hephaestus, claimed the artifacts he possessed, and slew Hephaestus, then proceeded to turn on the other players, who were unaware of Pane's betrayal. By the time the final battle with the Black King had started, Pane had slain half of the session's players, and when the session's Mage of Time finally realized the truth, he was slain as well. Pane also had another commit suicide, leaving three survivors. Tazz was one of them, the other two were Gordon/Lambda, A Minecraftian, and Sigma, a troll.
Tazz had been searching for Pane for five years, and when Godcraft started, Tazz first came to support Gordon, then heard of the possibility Pane was close to the Battlefield. Tazz immediately came there, hoping to finally bring Pane to justice. OOC, Tazz has said that more detail will come in DTG3.
During Act 4, Tazz did a few noteworthy things, mainly during Trial 3. First, he dealt 15 damage to Piono, and second, the use of his Comb Rave, Final Smash, which obliterated the Taken Fear, a high-powered entity and aspect of the Red Dragon, and the Queen Bee Vord. He almost secured the killing blow against the High-Queen with the aid of Generic, but fell short.
During Trial 4, the Ascent, Tazz created a stronger Orb of Sanity, the Orb of Calm, and then set up a setup that would ensure that he would either stay sane, or be kept from going on a Trickster trip through Limbo. Mercifully, the Orbs worked, making him the third player to master Trickster powers. Aside from this, he initially just kept with the flow and did little of note until after the Bone challenge. It became apparent that, like Piono, Tazz intended to make a Reality-based Alchemy and attempt to ascend to Alpha Godmodder. When the Canteen was finished, Tazz experimentally drunk from the reality-majjyk filled container, causing him to be filled with reality-bending power. Tazz used the powers he just gained to, among other things, make the power permanent. To the surprise of everyone, it worked, ascending him to the rank of Alpha Godmodder, and making him the second player, and first AG to do so.
This was accompanied by a challenge-winning suggestion for the Silk Challenge. Immediately afterwards, when the final climatic moment of the Psi-Scratch fight occurred, Tazz destroyed the Disc of Mojang with an ominous, tense story. The story in question revealed two true facts, Tazz possessed (or possesses) a sword called Archeon with mostly unknown qualities (described as Black as a Triple Midnight) and once possessed a ship called the Moorblade, now wrecked. After Trial 4 ended, he quickly set out to get it repaired and enlisted the help of several people to get the relevant alchemies fixed, and upgraded as well. In the process, he also created the Mythos and the Divine Gate of Harmony, his end-game weapons.
At the top of the Tower during Trial 5, Tazz was part of team Excelsior, andwas noteworthy for dealing the final blow to the Bleak. He also used one of the few successful attacks to Distract the Godmodder from Notch. Afterwards, he waited around for Trial 6, and in the process introduced Golden Freddy, a foul-mouthed animatronic from the world of Five Nights at Fuckboy's, who proceeded to get into shenanigans within the TARDIS. He also managed the last Spoil Trade, wherein he obtained the Infinity Blade.
Tazz was not terribly noteworthy throughout Trial 6, outside of several speeches aimed to break the Godmodder mentally. However, after the end of the Trial, Tazz proceeded to do the longest attack in Destroy the Godmodder history, including a First Guardian Ascension, an All-In, a Narrative Power boost, a Boss Combo, A serious abuse of his Charge-based ability to turn into any Smash Bros character, an Existence-consuming Paradox, a girl with a second to live, and a massive orb of creation energies, that was ultimately deemed the attack to finally Destroy the Godmodder, earning him the Godarm. However, as Godmodder Soul rose from the depths, Tazz blacked out due to the severe strain the attack put on him.
DTG: TV Tropes
Tazz's behavior in TV Tropes has been radically different from his DTG2 incarnation. Joining with CobaltShade shorty before the end of the Civil War, the two started a short-lived attempt at a bid war that was cut short, causing them to both turn AG. They also picked up TwinBuilder as an ally. Tazz did receive Fseftr's Entropic Razor, but otherwise nothing of note happened prior to his kidnapping by a pack of Mutant Endermen. Freed, he quickly attacked the Mutants in the castle and made his way to the Ender Portal room. By the time the portal was ready, however, Tazz did an unexpected move, a charge that was set to finish in 150 posts abruptly finished early. With this charge, Tazz hijacked the summon of the imminent Terror Enderdragon, instead causing Bill Cipher to be summoned in his new Ascended State.
Bill and Tazz had made a contract: Tazz would orchestrate Bill's summoning to the TvTropes session, in exchange, Bill would not hit Tazz, CobaltShade, or Twin. Tazz revealed himself as Chaotic Neutral, and revealed the Bid war was a failed attempt to get good Artifacts and backstab the winners. Even as the Castle was torn out around them, Tazz managed to make his way back to the main Battlefield while Bill tangled with the AG and PG forces. However, once again the Glitch appeared, and Bill fled, while Tazz and his group temporarily aligned with the AG cause due to Narrative Casualty saying that he was not going to get anywhere. He briefly reappeared for two insignificant parts but didn't stick around either time.
Summoned Entities
DTG2
- [AG] The Core: Crazy Hand. 550,000/550,000. The Fleet: The Aces. 250,000/250,000 HP. (x3.) The Heavies: Grand Ranch Cannons: 40,000/40,000 HP. (x10.) The Artillery: Dynamite Dynamos: 20,000/20,000 HP. (x15.) The Calvary: Ranch Dressing Elemental Engineers: 6,000/6,000 (x100.) The Soldiers: Lesser Ranch Dressing Elementals. 5,000/5,000 HP. (x100.) The Pawns: Mad Bombers: 1,000/1,000 (x150.)
- [???] The_King_of_Pane: 75/75
DTG: TvT
Tazz's one summon was Ascendant Bill Cipher. Making another deal with the dream demon, he wreaked havoc for a number of rounds before the Glitch got severe enough that he stormed off in a rage for his havoc-wrecking being delayed, and thus did not die.
Ascendent Bill Cipher: [N] 1010/1010 (10/10 in Binary). Bill was immune to all status effects and debuffs. High Dodge Chance. Providence: III Oblivion: III Unhealthy Incendiaries: III Mindbender: IIIII The Tumor: IIIIIIII
Trivia
- The_King_of_Pane was initially supposed to hit Tazz's own army. However, before he was scheduled to make his move, The Army of Choice was slain, prompting some rearranging of targets to the Z-Mech, the strongest Mech that he could slay in a single attack.
- Considering he appeared towards the start of the endgame, Tazz said that the story behind him Pane would only get a summation during the 3rd intermission and would be explained in better detail during Destroy the Godmodder 3.
- During a Storypost, Twin retrieved the Deudly Magnum from a 'Text Adventure' during his travels through the void. This is a reference to a surreal Text Adventure that Tazz was GMing in #DTG2, where the main character had given TwinBuilder the Deudly Magnum. It is not certain if the adventure itself is canon or if this event is merely based on the Text Adventure.
- During the SBURB session, everyone had codenames to distinguish the unfamiliar players in conversation quickly. Pane's codename was Psi, though the relationship to the only other character named Psi is thus far only a coincidence.
- Tazz is the only AG Alpha Godmodder in DTG2, and the second to ascend to the position in-thread.
- Ascendant Bill Cipher was spawned when Tazz asked Twin if it was OK to summon him. Twin was coincidentally summoning (vanilla) Bill Cipher and did not object. Tazz then took the idea to Piono, who offered the idea of having him take the place of a boss, which is how it was summoned with an unfinished charge.
- The Tazz participating in DTG2 and the Tazz participating in the TvTropes Session are almost polar opposites in in-universe personality despite looking exactly the same. This has not been explained.